Calm down activities for kids

Before you begin

Big feelings are a normal part of growing up, and every child finds their own way through them. Try these ideas in a calm moment first, so they feel familiar later. Offer a choice rather than a command, keep your own voice low and slow, and let your child stop whenever they like. Age hints are only a guide, so you know your child best. A calm-down jar should always be made and used with a grown-up.

1. Balloon breathing

Age hint: 3 and up.

Bring: nothing, or a picture of a balloon to look at.

1. Sit or stand comfortably and place your hands on your tummy.
2. Imagine a balloon inside you. Breathe in slowly through your nose and feel it grow.
3. Breathe out slowly through your mouth and feel the balloon get smaller.
4. Try it three to five times, at a pace that feels easy.

Notice: Where did you feel the balloon grow?

2. Five-senses look-around

Age hint: 4 and up.

Bring: just yourselves.

1. Look around and whisper one thing you can see.
2. Then one thing you can hear, and one thing you can feel, such as your feet on the floor.
3. Name something you can smell, if there is anything, and something you like the taste of.
4. Go slowly and let your grown-up have a turn too.

Notice: What did you spot that you had not seen before?

3. Shake-it-out

Age hint: 3 and up.

Bring: a little clear floor space.

1. Stand with room around you and shake your hands for ten slow counts.
2. Shake your arms, then your legs, then wiggle your whole body.
3. Slow down until you are as still as a statue.
4. Take one slow breath in the stillness.

Notice: How did your body feel when you stopped?

4. Squeeze and release

Age hint: 4 and up.

Bring: nothing, or a soft cushion.

1. Squeeze your hands into tight fists, like squeezing lemons, and count to three.
2. Let go and let your hands go floppy.
3. Try the same with your shoulders, then your toes.
4. Finish with a soft stretch.

Notice: Which part felt the softest after letting go?

5. Calm-down jar

Age hint: 4 and up, with a grown-up.

Bring: a sturdy shatterproof plastic bottle with a screw lid, warm water, a spoonful of clear washable glue or a little baby oil, and a pinch of large, safe glitter if you wish.

1. A grown-up fills the bottle most of the way with warm water and stirs in the glue or oil.
2. Add a pinch of glitter, leave a little space at the top and fasten the lid very tightly. A grown-up should seal it with strong tape or glue.
3. Shake it gently and watch the glitter swirl, then settle.
4. Sit with the jar and breathe slowly until the glitter reaches the bottom.

Notice: What did the glitter do as you waited?

6. Listen for the quietest sound

Age hint: 4 and up.

Bring: a quiet spot.

1. Close your eyes or look softly at the floor.
2. Listen for the loudest sound you can hear, then ignore it.
3. Now search for the quietest sound, such as a fan, a clock or far-off birds.
4. When you find it, hold up one finger, then open your eyes.

Notice: How far away do you think that sound was?

Tips for grown-ups

Stay close and keep your own breathing slow, because children often follow the mood around them. Use few words, and wait for the worst of the feeling to pass before you talk about what happened. Name the feeling kindly, such as “you look really frustrated”, without telling a child how they ought to feel. Practise together on quiet days, and make a small calm corner with a cushion and a favourite book if you have the space. Praise the trying, not the result, since some days none of it will work, and that is fine. Many families find a steady routine helps, and you might try one of these before bed. If your child is often very upset, or you are worried about them, these ideas are not a substitute for advice from a doctor or counsellor, so please ask for it.

More to do on Rangooo

Play a round of listening games, think about good things with gratitude journal prompts, try some kindness activities, put names to emotions with talking about feelings activities, ease the school-day rush with morning routine ideas, set up some quiet time activities, wind down with bedtime stories for 4-year-olds, or browse more stories and activities.

Questions

What age are calm down activities for?

Most of these ideas suit ages three to eight with a grown-up nearby. Balloon breathing and shake-it-out are easy for the youngest children to try, while squeeze-and-release, the five-senses look-around and the quietest sound game suit slightly older ones.

When is the best time to try them?

Many families find it easier to practise when everyone is already calm, for example before a meal or at story time. Then the activity may feel familiar when a big feeling arrives, and a child can pick a favourite.

What if my child does not want to join in?

That is fine. Offer a choice of two activities, or simply do one yourself nearby and let your child watch. Never force it, and wait until they are ready.

Is a calm-down jar safe for young children?

It can be if you build it carefully. Use a sturdy, shatterproof plastic bottle, keep the lid firmly shut and glued or taped, and avoid small beads or glitter for children who still put things in their mouths. Always supervise.